Allison

12.01.04

The Donnas played at Webster Hall last night (NYC's cheesiest nightclub-cum-rock venue), and I situated myself in front of guitarist Allison Robertson, my new hero. I've never been totally crazy about the Donnas, just as I've never been totally crazy about the Ramones. But I'm loving their new album Gold Medal and all of its '80s prog-metal riffs, cowbells, and metallic solos (pay attention all former Dokken and Queensryche fans!).

Alison has got the moves and grooves of Angus Young (ACDC), the coolest 70s shaggy haircut (to hide those eyes), and the chops to compete with the world's best shredders. I'm secretly jealous.

I've always dreamed of being a kick-ass metal guitar player. When I returned to New York from London in 1997, I enrolled in guitar school and practiced 8 hours a day. My lead was kinda sucky, but I could play rhythm perfectly. I could play along to Megadeth's speediest tracks. I started to work with a private instructor (one of those ultra-cheesy metal guys who wore shirts to expose his hairy chest, cheap cowboy boots, and loads of scarves dangling from everywhere), who was determined to help me become the ultimate guitarist. Everything was going just fine and dandy until one lesson, he (I forgot his name) wanted to teach me this strange rhythm technique that he swore would take me weeks to master. He played it once, and asked me to play it back to him. I did. When I finished, he got up out of his chair and gave me a kiss on the lips. I was stunned. Seriously, I was frozen in my seat. He explained that he was just oh so amazed that I had pulled off the lick and he had to kiss me. Ha! I didn't say anything, and we just continued with the lesson.

When I got home, I was completely traumatized and furious at myself for not kicking him in the balls, or shouting to his wife (!) in the next room to tell her about her pathetic husband. I ditched my next lessons and never called him again. But from that day on I lost complete interest in guitar. I didn't touch the guitar for years, and never really questioned why. Two months later I fell in love with Japanese, and put all my energy into that.

So I guess when I see girls my age like Allison Robertson, I think about the past and my goals and my beautiful Jackson guitar (that I purchased because Marty Friedman from Megadeth played one). All I can say is that Allison blew my mind, and now I can live vicariously through her. I am a Donnas fan forever.

Sheila

Posted by Sheila at 05:59 PM